Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 140

I’ve been very moody and melancholic of late. I can’t seem to pinpoint what exactly is wrong. But I am seeing gloom in everything I look at. Maybe that’s what affected the way I was viewing my relationship last week. I’m just not happy. Maybe it’s the whole downward economy saga. Maybe it is because January was generally a slow month, and February hasn’t picked up yet. Even the small sales of my Ankara handcraft that I’ve had by the side, I sold absolutely nothing in January. I’ve been totally idle, we’ve not been very busy at the office. I’m just tired and bored of everything.

As if everything isn’t bad enough, there’s some other guy seriously on my case. He sees me like an angel walking on gold. Dimeji knows absolutely nothing about him, but he knows I have a boyfriend. That doesn’t seem to bother him though, he still thinks he has a chance with me. My fault was that I left a loophole for the guy to get to me, and then it got a bit complicated in my mind.

We met when he came to my place of work for a meeting with Yemisi. And then, he fell in love with my hair, which was in a very calm Mohawk. We exchanged numbers, and then started talking.

This is something I wouldn’t give room for on a normal day, but I felt I needed something to spice up this boring phase of my life. Big mistake!

The guy has just the right things to say. He’s tall and handsome, very financially stable, well-spoken, ready to settle down, a Christian, and worships the ground I walk on. He’s just everything. What kind of problem is this?

Maybe it is even because of him that I started wondering why Dimeji is dragging his feet in proposing. I find myself hiding things from Dimeji lately. I now delete messages and call logs, and lightly cover things up when he’s wondering why my phone has been busy for such a long time. The irony is that Dimeji doesn’t even check my phones, but I just don’t want to give any chance to him finding out about the other guy, even if I’m not cheating on him.

I will admit that I like talking to the guy. I look forward to his calls, though I know I can’t give the guy what he wants because I don’t plan to cheat on Dimeji or leave him.

Source

Maybe it’s just a phase, and my desire for companionship with the guy will fizzle out when this phase is over. Or maybe it is just an indication of something missing in my life. I just don’t know. But for now, it is what it is. And I will live with it that way.