Monday, 6 October 2014

Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 70

To everyone who wished my sister and I well last week, I want to say a big thank you. She is back home, and doing well. Her husband has been a great pillar of support to her, so I am sure they will come out of it just fine.

Okay, so there’s this thing that has been bothering me for a while now. I have been meaning to ask, but been too shy to talk about it.

I know for a fact that I should be retaining more hair than I currently am. I am very careful about my hair, and deliberate about the regiment I use to care for it. I have read blog, studied articles like 10 reasons why you are not retaining more length, 5 ways to overcome natural hair growth stagnancy, 101 reasons why you hair growth seems to have plateaued, and the likes. Yet, nothing seems to work. My hair grows, I retain length, but not as much is should be.

About a year ago, Dimeji and I were alone, and my head was on his shoulder, and he was stroking my hair, following a specific straight line pattern. The sensation was so soothing, that I just wanted to stay there forever. It was then it hit me…

I might not have hand-in-hair syndrome, but I definitely have boyfriend’s-hand-in-my-hair syndrome. Dimeji’s caresses were compromising the success of my natural hair journey, and I needed to do something about it… fast.

I made the decision to stop Dimeji from playing with me whenever we were together. That decision didn’t last half a second.

I started making sure I wore my satin bonnets whenever he was around. That decision led culminated in this incident.

I started tying beautiful rectangular satin scarves folded into two. A few kisses and caresses later, they always find themselves on the ground.

I have really considered standing my ground, and being assertive about him not touching my hair. I know he will oblige, but I am very sure he’ll be hurt because he likes running his hands through my kinks, and has been my greatest supporter in my natural hair journey. It only seems fair that he benefits a bit from it, considering all the pepper I have shown him because of my natural hair.

Also, if I ban him, will, it be a permanent ban? What will happen if we get married, and we are in the heat of the moment? Will I cut off his hands whenever we are in bed?

I have been thinking hard about all these, especially this week (I don't know why), but I still don’t have a solution. It seems I will be thinking long about this, till I grow old, and my body decays into a skeleton.

I have considered asking married women with natural hair, how they tackle the husband’s-hand-in-my-hair syndrome, in order to retain hair length, but I am just too shy. I don’t want people looking at Dimeji and I, like we are sleeping with each other already.

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  1. Lol at the last part. (I'm in d lib n I'm meant to be ready but I just had to read this post I mean it's my Monday guilt pleasure) any way I feel there is nothing you can do about it . Abi don't u like it when he touches the hair at leat ur not tWA like me

  2. lol i think you should braid your hair or put it in twists for about 6 weeks, during that time you will retain some length plus dimeji will get used to not touching your hair so much, but plssss dnt tell him off or stop him #hehassufferedtoomuchforthishair lol! remember the trip to the beach incident :)

  3. No hard and fast rules for me. I dont have hand in hair syndrome but my boyfriend and eventual husband wd be allowed in my hair. They wouldnt be allowed to cheat ofcourse but whats in touching, caressing my hair even? How I see it

  4. The last part got me laughing... Pls don't ban him from touching ur hair o although I know that won't even last if u tried it

  5. Maureen H. is right. You put it in a braid once in a while for the hair to recover and retain length. you can do Crochet braids with kinky/natural textured hair for him to touch :)

    1. What of in the long run? Will her hair be in braids forever?

  6. The touch of your loving bf/fiance/husband vs hair length retention... choose 1!!!

  7. Anna always crack me up even when you're serious. Lol


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