My relationship with my hair was never something about which I had to think; my hair was just . . . there. Growing up, my mother would never let me get a relaxer (perm) but the truth is, I never wanted to get one either. I do not remember ever asking my mother for one. And then I left for secondary school (boarding school) where we all had to cut our hair, so it never even came up as a topic of discussion.
Fast forward to 2009, I was 16 and preparing to relocate from Nigeria to the United States. Since I graduated from secondary school in 2008, I had already grown out my hair to the point where it was big and thick. Combing it was a pain (nobody told me to never comb my hair dry) and so it was always covered up in weaves or braids at that point. In February 2009, I got my first perm because my mother thought it would make my hair easier to handle while we went through the stress of settling in a new country and finding hair stylists and all that. Surprisingly, my hair never got that bone straight look others seem to have when they get perms.
The one or two times my mother did my perm after we moved did not give my hair that straight look either. In March 2010, my mother decided to leave the perm in longer so that my hair would finally be straight. Terrible idea! The sides and nape of my hair burnt off to the scalp. That was the last time that my mother put a perm on anybody else’s hair. My next three perms were professionally done and there were no more horror stories. But the truth is, perms did not seem to agree with my hair. Even in my brief relaxed days, I would wear natural hairstyles and some friends thought my hair was natural. I remember when I got my last perm in April 2011, a few friends were upset because I relaxed my hair.
Finally, in July 2011, I spontaneously decided to cut off all of my hair. The main reason for me was the increasing unhealthiness of my hair with all its split ends but I just knew that once I started over, I would be going to the relaxer-free way. So that’s exactly what I did on July 30, 2011. For some reason, some people were upset because I “cut off my long hair” and my answer was always “it’s just hair. It will grow.” It has been two years now of being relaxer-free, heat-free, and weave-free. The last one isn’t intentional; it’s pure coincidence because I have nothing against weaves.
Anyway, thanks for reading about my journey. The video below shows the progress of my relationship with my hair, in pictures. I hope you enjoy it.
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