The bride told me to relax my natural hair...

I drew this with Microsoft Paint. Don't laugh at me :p

Hey ladies!

Have any of you ever been a bridesmaid? If you have (or not), you probably know that some brides want a uniform look for their bridesmaids - same dress, same color, same type/color of shoes... these days, some brides put their bridesmaids on diets to be skinny (but that's a story for another blog). Some of these are understandable. But have you ever heard of some brides who insist on their bridesmaids not only having bone-straight hair, but relaxing their hair?!

I ran into a friend on Tuesday evening, and we got to talking about hair (she saw the shrinkage from my wash-and-go). Then she tells me that she got her hair relaxed. When I asked why, I was stunned to hear her say that it was due to bridesmaid duties. Now, I don't have an issue with her relaxing her hair, if SHE wanted to do it for HERSELF. But to go through with it, for someone else, for just a few hours?! There is absolutely no way I would have agreed to! For my sister's wedding, I got my hair flat-ironed, and that was it. There are different options - wigs, closed weaves, etc. So why should someone else dictate what you do to your hair? I would have opted out of the bridal party, no matter how close the bride is to me.

PS. The bride in question, got her hair relaxed too. That's fine by me, as it's her hair and her choice.

What would you have done in this situation? free polls 

Berry Dakara


  1. Must she be on the bridal train? I would wear an all covered weave or do the invisible part weave. I am not even sure i'll flat iron my hair for anyone. Maybe they had wanted to get their hair relaxed and the perfect opportunity of bride and bridesmaid came up. I always say, the natural hair journey is not an easy one and its not for everyone. If you go natural for the wrong reasons, you'll give up on it easily. Remember, going natural isn't a trend.

  2. For where? Rubbish and nonsense. Is she paying me a million bucks to be on her train, cos that's the only thing that can make me relax my hair, after which I will cut
    it and go natural again in the next second. So it will just be like I decided to do a big chop of my natural hair, lol.

    In my own opinion, your friend probably toyed with the idea of relaxing her hair before, and when that jolt came, she didn't hesitate. Abi was there a noose around her neck?

    In other new, I love the fact that you drew a picture. Maybe you should start drawing more pics for this blog. Think about it.

  3. Yeah, I agree that she probably wanted to relax her hair anyway.

    @ AN: LOL, I'm actually proud of the picture. And erm, I dunno about drawing more. It's possible.

  4. I had the same issue during my sister's wedding. Hers was that I had to wear a weave. I haven't covered my locks in more than a year, and I told her No. She was upset, but I stuck to my guns......I think I'm a little too stubborn. I'm on a friends' train for later in the year, and I've told her before hand, I'm not covering my hair. She didn't even protest, cos she was at my sister's wedding.

  5. There's a lot of info missing in this story. How far along sad she in her journey? How serious was she with her haircare practice? Was she having difficulties with her hair prior? was her natural hair just a hairstyle for her?

    As for me, I won't change anything about myself. The attention is always on the bride anyway.

    Great job with the Art! I can barely draw a stick figure with Microsoft paint. Lol

  6. I would definitely wear a weave. I'm sure the bridesmaids still fixed weaves for the wedding so I'm wondering why she felt she had to relax her hair. I agree with y'all that she probably wanted to do it & just needed a good excuse.

  7. Your hair belongs to you. I don't get how people let other people that are not even relevant to them to choose what happens to their hair. Seriously? I am doing you a favour by agreeing to be your bridesmaid and all you want to prove to me is that you can't stand my hair?
    If she had agreed to do with the flat ironed hair, you'd know she is just a perfectionist who is trying to get a uniform look for her train, but that she blatantly refused that and insisted on relaxed hair? let's face it, there is more to it than just caring about her train. And the sad part is that she let her get away with it

    1. Oh and I forgot, Berry you did a great job with the images :)


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