Have I told you anything about Sade lately? I guess not. In fact, I guess never. Actually, Sade is actually one of my very close friend, whom after endlessly making fun of my decision to go natural, eventually ended joining me in this journey, although she is transitioning, rather than choosing to do the Big Chop like I did.
The problem is that Sade is not as unwavering as I am, and easily gets moved by what people say to her about her hair. I am not saying my heart is hard like a rock, but I have come to the point where no one can tell me what to do about my hair. I can't say exactly the same for Sade.
She told me she had decided not to weaves of extensions for the next two months because she wanted to give her edges a rest. However, I wasn't surprised when I saw her rocking a weave this morning, and she related the story to me.
A day before she was to attend her cousin's wedding this past weekend, her mum and brother put a whole lot of pressure on her to relax her hair, but thankfully, she did not. In her own words, they made fun of her, and said they hoped she won't end up looking like 'those religious sisters that look scruffy and unkempt in the name of being natural.' I really felt for her, because I know words get to Sade easily, and to make matters worse, it was coming from the people who love her, and are close to her.
At the end of the day, the insisted she put on a weave, because they felt her hair was not presentable enough to attend a wedding in that state. Thus, that ended her decision to go on a two month no-weaves break. I am not saying there's anything wrong with weaves, but I don't think Sade, or anyone for that matter, should be forced by society into doing something they don't want with their hair.
As for me, my mum tried the whole negative talk with me at first, and when she saw I wasn't fazed, she kept it to herself, although, she's still not a fan.
I'm really worried that if things continue this way, Sade might succumb to the pressure, and end up relaxing her hair after a while, since she has not even started cutting the relaxed ends away.
Well, what's a naturalista like me to do? I can only hope seeing my hair continues to inspire her to stick to what she really wants.
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I left my hair in a 'fro to a wedding once, and guys were staring! Like "OMG, it's so refreshing to see you in this sea of weaves."
ReplyDeletePS - I don't have anything against weaves. I wear wigs intermittently.
First things first, why did Sade go natural? did she do it because she really wanted to? I have also noticed that having weak edges isn't even enough reason to go natural. My friend went natural for that reason, did a big chop, was loving the natural look only to relax her hair a few months later when she had issues with finding short hair styles. I even referred her to this blog to help out.
ReplyDeleteBut what i have come to realize is people would always do what they set out to do. We can only continue to hope that your hair keeps inspiring her.
Also, peoples opinions shouldn't really matter when you take a decision like going natural. I have worn my natural hair for red carpet events, weddings etc and everyone loved it. I've even left it in a big fro on few occasions and rocked it confidently.
Regarding weaves, i rock mine whenever i feel like, no pressure from aanywhere or anyone. One might just want a change of look.
Another nice piece from you :-D
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I think she should buy a really nice wig for instances where she is pressured into relaxing or doing a weave against her wishes. It would protect her hair and reduce damage and also, make those people happy for the meantime. Also, her hair would be less manipulated and grow longer faster. Balogun market is her friend, there are nice human hair wigs for cheap!
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