Getting your spouse to support your natural hair Journey

Hello Naturalistas,

Happy Valentine's Day! Today, we're going to talk about how to get your significant other to support your natural hair journey.

I know there are supportive spouses for natural hair and a huge shout out to all of you out there. I also don't assume that all spouses are supportive hence this article.

I've been natural for like 5 years  and when I met my husband, I had bra-strap length after I had done another BC a year prior to that. My husband loves my hair and is supportive of my journey but there is just one problem. I cut my hair alot. In this 5 years of being natural I have cut my hair like 3 times all together and twice since I got married. It's at this point we don't see eye-to-eye. Here are a few tips of how we've gotten to a place where there's no more drama about my natural hair.

  • Drop hints in Advance: When I feel the need to change my look, I just start dropping subtle hints making statements like "I spend too much time on my hair" "What style will I make today?" and the list goes on. Drop the hints like every other day and this applies when you are looking to go natural and he's not on board yet "Oh my hair is so unhealthy" etc. drop those hints until the day you make your decision known. "What do you think about my going natural?"
  • Don't bring out the big guns: If he opposes, don't become defensive. Just simply ask for his reasons why he is not on board. In my own experience, my husband felt that doing a BC makes me look younger and boyish and he wasn't a big fan of it. So, I had understood his reasons. Most of our spouses might just need education on natural hair. Whatever the reason for opposing your decision, just hear them out and don't be defensive about it. 
  • Work your way around their reasons: The way I worked my way around our own situation was to ask him if he liked atleast one thing about short hair, so, I decided to style my hair how he liked it and it's a win-win. The point is to ensure that it's a win-win for everybody. Ask the questions and let them understand from your perspective and educate them about natural hair.                                                                                                                                                             If they don't still agree.... 
  • Ask for a trial period: Do crochet braids or an afro wig that mimic what your hair can look like just so your spouse can have an idea and probably start getting used to it. 
  • Be patient and let them make a decision: Don't be in a hurry to let them make a decision, it might just be "Hair" to you but it's a whole lifestyle change and whether you admit it or not it affects your spouse too. After you've made your decision know, let them think about it and be patient till they come around. 

Have you had to deal with an unsupportive Significant Other? What tips do you have for those experiencing this?


  1. When I cut my hair and went natural I didn't have a significant other. My sister didn't cut her hair then to go natural cos her boyfriend didn't like it. O ga o. I was glad I didn't have a boyfriend then to allow it disallow. Cos I sha will not have answered him. A husband is however more serious than a boyfriend so these are good tips. I've been natural for three years so anybody coming now, it's "take me as I am" lol


  2. I think I've been lucky with this one. Hubby loves my natural hair. He is just always puzzled when I wear wigs. He does not understand why you have to protective style when you have long natural hair.

  3. My husband loves my hair ooo. However, he recently said he thinks naturalistas husbands should be given awards because you don't know what next we'll be rubbing on our heads, and the smell it will have. I recently found out that he doesn't like the smell of coconut oil.


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