Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 157

I have a neighbour who I have talked to about natural hair once or twice. We are not so close, but we talk deeply when we talk for long. She’s very beautiful… and very married… to a very handsome man. She had previously confided in me that she had had to deal with issues of girls flocking around him before and even after their marriage, but it didn’t seem like he was cheating on her, at least not from what I gathered from her.

It was in the process of discussing hair issues that I gathered all this. That is how natural hair can be a unifying force.

I’ve met her husband once or twice, and I know my face is familiar to him, but he probably wouldn’t be able to place it anytime he sees me.

My neighbour works in an oil company, and there was a time they posted her to work on a project in a nearby African country. She had the opportunity to come home once a month. After a year, she came back home, and three months later, she was posted to work on another project in a farway African country.

This was the time her husband started protesting, saying she should find a way to sort it out, and she wasn’t going anywhere. She was still in the begging phase when she confided in me. She has been married for almost 5 years without a child, and they are not happy about it even though she’s flying high in her career. And they both think these postings would even jeopardise their chances further.

Anyway, I don’t think she went on that posting. I believe she took a long leave, went to do a short course abroad, and came back.

Two weeks ago, I went to their compound which houses multiple flats, on a particular day when I didn’t go to work. Her husband works from home, while she is a 9-5 person.  He was walking out with a lady.

My first reaction was to mentally exclaim that he was sleeping with her. I was thinking “heeey, come and see american wonder. My friend’s husband is sleeping with another woman. Should I report him to her?”

But I immediately started making excuses for him. Maybe it is his cousin, or a client. Maybe it was even his sister, after all, I don’t know his family. But why would he be seeing his sister off to go and get a bus or cab. He isn’t from a poor family, so his sister should have a car.

What if someone told me they saw Dimeji walking out of his house with a lady? Does that mean he is cheating? Definitely not, so I put myself in my female neighbour’s shoes.

Even after all the excuses I have made for him, I am still suspecting him. But then, I guess the only reason why I was suspecting the guy is because his wife had previously told me about their struggles with all the ladies on his case. I think I have to be careful about what I listen to. If she hadn’t told me anything, I probably would be here, burdened with the task of over-analysis.


  1. probably bt at times it's Gud for us to hear sum tins cuz it keeps u enlightened ND sensitive bt dnt be too controlling ND also discussing some issues open us more to other tins

    1. Yeah, I agree. The major thing is balance and emotional intelligence.

  2. This is a delicate issue, most people unburden themselves by talking and you may be the only one she trusts. I really hope the man isn't cheating.......

    1. I doubt that they are close to such level of intimate trust. Cheating is an issue on a whole new level.


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