Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 154

Okay, it is official. Subsidy has been removed. Everything is now expensive, including hair and love. If there’s any time to do a BC, it is now.

For some time now, I have been looking at Yemisi’s hair, and studying the thousands of versions of BCs she has been having. She has had front shave, back shave, left shave, right shave, total shave, funny shape shaves, and all sorts. She is super creative when it comes to BCs, and she doesn’t have to bother about length products, etc. She is not affected by fuel price, dollar rate, or all those economic factors other naturalistas cry about.

Dimeji came to my house on Saturday, and he was playing with my hair while lamenting the recent economic change in the country.

“See, babe ehn. I don’t know how some Nigerians are going to survive o. Things are so expensive, and our purchasing power has dropped massive.” He said, caressing my hair.

“Well, we just have to adjust.” I said as a matter of fact. “No more unnecessary spending.”

“We are even trying to make a case at work, to our bosses, that our salaries have to be increased.  Salaries weren’t reviewed upwards after dollar rates skyrocketed. Now this, and things are still the same.”

“Well, we just have to adjust.” I said again.

“Madam, you are just saying adjust, adjust. It might get so bad that there would be nothing to adjust again. Any further tightening of the belt, and people might just choke to death.”

“As for me o, I think there’s always something that can be adjusted.”

“So tell me now. What exactly are you going to adjust? It’s not like you have so many bills to pay anyway.” Dimeji countered.

“Well, as for me, I will be cutting me hair.” I said with a straight face, clearly avoiding eye contact with him.

“What? You must be a joker. Which hair are you cutting?”

“Well, that’s how I’m adjusting to the economy. I can’t keep thinking of hair styles and hair products in these times.”

“Am I complaining?” he asked.

“Of course, you are not complaining. Are you the one who has to think about DIYs because you don’t want to spend on products? Are you the one who thinks about cutting out salons from your life because you can’t think of spending one more minute bargaining prices? The only thing you do is play with my hair. So of course, you are not complaining.”

“So you would just cut your hair. Just like that? You and I would now look the same in this relationship.”

“Well, not exactly, I would cut it stylishly, into several styles like Yemisi.” I defended my position.
“Yemisi!!??!! Which Yemisi? Your colleague, Yemisi?”

“Yes, same Yemisi. Or how many Yemisis do we both know?”

Dimeji burst into a hysterical laughter for about 20 seconds that I started to get annoyed.

Colbert Busting Up
“Anna, do you know how much it takes to maintain such exotic haircuts that Yemisi keeps? First of all, Yemisi visits the barber every single weekend to make sure no side is overgrown. And do you even imagine the amount of products she uses to make sure they stay in check? Is it you that twist your hair every 2 weeks and still complain that it’s too short that want to carry Yemisi’s style?”

“Well, mine is more expensive than cutting my hair, and making it like hers.”

“Madam, Yemisi and I go to the same barber, as you know. She goes there every weekend. And every time I have met her there, with products and all, she has spent nothing less that N3,000.00. Now imagine that in a whole month.”

N3000? I was shocked to the marrow. I knew having hair was expensive. But who would have thought I had to pay so much to NOT HAVE HAIR?


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