Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 143

For the past one week, my life has been one long drag to another. I used to pride myself in having great endurance, but now I know that endurance is only easy when the situation has a specific end date. How does one endure when one does not know how long one is going to endure for?

This past week, I thought long and hard about many things, all which led me to no solution in site. I started the week by incessantly calling Dimeji. He never picked any of my calls, but later sent a message saying he is sorry but he feels it’s best we suspend calls for now. I was really hurt because it seemed to me like I had lost some of my hold over Dimeji.

At first, I assumed that since I was still talking with the other guy, it would help me cope with Dimeji’s separation from me. On the first day, it was alright. The next day, I tried a bit, but by the third day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I started yearning for Dimeji’s voice… the same voice that I had gotten so used to, and had become a bore.

Since Dimeji wanted complete separation, I couldn’t get to him. I started thinking of people I could report him to, so they could help me beg him. I thought of his brother, Kolapo, my mum, his mum, my sister, even my two younger brothers. Family was the only acquaintance we had in common, but all these people were unsuitable to report him to. What if they helped me beg him, and they truth of the situation came out? I know it is unlikely for Dimeji to spill the beans about what happened, cos he’s a very private person. I just couldn’t risk it, so I have decided to suffer in silence, and hope for the best.

I was supposed to sit down and do my twists this weekend, but the melancholic mood I was in wasn’t going to allow me embark on such a feat. Instead, I decided to go to the salon for an updo. Armed with a picture of what I wanted to replicate on my head, I proceeded to the salon.

The washing and steaming went well. As we were about to begin styling, a lady walked in with her boyfriend. Because the salon was full, they had to wait a while for her turn. I started admiring them and the love they couldn’t keep off each other’s eyes. And just like that, right in front of us all, they started engaging in PDA. It wasn’t the irritating, I can’t get my hands off your body kind of PDA, but the gentle, play with my cheeks and fingertips, don’t take your eyes off me kind of PDA. It was so cute that I even began to miss Dimeji more. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks. My stylist noticed, and asked me what was wrong, but I quickly adjusted my eyes and said nothing.

Source

No matter how hard I tried, they tears couldn’t stop. I cursed the luck that brought me to the salon that day. I couldn't sit at home in peace, I couldn't go out in peace.

It was at that point the other guy called me. Immediately I saw his call, I hissed and cut it. He called like two more times, and I just switched off my phone in anger and sadness.

Aww, someone should tell me what to do to rectify this mess. I need to see an end in sight.