Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 72

Finally! It is over!!! One year of serving my father land. It has been a bitter-sweet experience, with ups and downs. I have met some great people in the course of doing my NYSC, and not-so-great ones.

I’ll be forever grateful to God for letting my path cross that of Tonya. I’m not so sure about Madam Adams though. Even though she had previously made my life miserable with her continuous cutting remarks and hostility towards my hair, she was not so bad in the end. I realised it was just a reflection of her own inadequacies. I still would not really miss her, though.

So now, I am job-hunting. I pray I get something great soon. I have sent out a few applications for graduate jobs, no need to waste my time on experienced hire jobs, since I have no experience. I also have to learn to manage my expectations, and pray for the best. I don’t want to encounter people discriminating against me at job interviews because of my hair. I know something great will come soon. The worst case scenario is that I’ll just return to the place I worked before I went to serve. But honestly, the thought of having to deal with Thomas on a daily basis leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Blaaahh.

So Tonya and I decided to hang out to celebrate the end of this excruciating phase of our lives, and the guys in our lives decided they wanted to be part of the fun. We didn’t object. In fact, we were happy they did, at least, they would pick up the bills. Lol. Then, I can save the little change I have, pending the time I get a job.
So we went out to a restaurant, and were generally having fun and gisting. I don’t know how it got down to the men talking about how we have terrorised their lives, but it did.

“That’s how one day, Tonya’s hair was caught in her zip. She asked me to remove it, and in the process, part of the hair broke away. She wanted to slaughter me, all because of hair o. Something that will grow back. And I wasn’t even the one who caused the hair being stuck in the first place.” Sola started with his TV personality voice.

“You have not seen anything yet. You guys have not been together for long. Is it not just about two or three months? Wait for one more year. If Tonya is anything like Anna, you will be running to me every day for advice.” Dimeji corroborated.

Tonya and I were looking at each other, alarmed. I mean, these guys were talking about us, like we were not even present.

“Haha, thank God I have an experienced guy as a friend. Thanks for offering to ease my plight.” Sola winked at his girlfriend.

“All these natural babes sef. If I start telling you what Anna has used my eyes to see because of this hair matter, we won’t leave here till next year. Do you know that one time, Anna sent me on an errand to use the whole of my vacation to gather a truck load of hair products, whose ingredients I can’t pronounce? And when I got back, she almost broke my head for not getting it right.”

“No o. I won’t have agreed. On top of my own vacation?” Sola objected.

I wanted to slap the taste out of his mouth. Sola should not come and teach Dimeji bad manners o. I was enjoying Dimeji as he is. What did the bible say about evil communication again? This is some evil communication going on against natural ladies.

“Do you know the funniest thing? She has not even used up to a quarter of the products I got her.” Dimeji laughed.

Oh gosh, this Dimeji is just too observant. I never knew he noticed.

“Of course, is that not why they call themselves product junkies?” Sola continued.

“I can see you are learning the natural hair lingos too.” Dimeji smiled at me, as I was just keeping a straight face. “That’s the only way we can survive with these girls o. I swear if 10 natural ladies are here, and they start talking, you will be convinced they are speaking another language.”

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“Yes o. I know them well. Even before meeting Tonya, I had already loved natural hair, and had some natural friends, so I knew some of these things. From pre-poo, or is it post-poo to cowashing, DC, baggy, wash hair day, ACV, etc.”

“Haa, wash hair day? No one messes with my baby on her wash hair day o. In fact, that whole day is more sacred to her than Sabbath was to the Jews.” Dimeji looked at me squarely with his mischievous eye.

Can anyone imagine these guys? I just sat looking startled, as they went on and on and on.

And so, this was how our boyfriends converted our post NYSC get-together into a forum where they dissed their natural girlfriends and natural hair ladies at large. Even though I was keeping straight face at first, it got so funny in the end that just relaxed and started laughing. After all, they were talking from their angle, and it wasn’t a lie.

Also, this was far better than being with guys for who would diss our hair, constantly tell us to ‘make’ our hair, or get relaxers.

I would keep on loving this guy called Dimeji, God-willingly.

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