Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 18

Hi people. Please, tell me. Am I a bad person? I am beginning to think I am. You remember my friend in this diary post, who I was afraid would end up relaxing her hair? I called her up on Tuesday, telling her about the Natural Hair salon that had just opened up in Lagos. She had been telling me about how she wishes there was a natural hair salon, and won't even mind running one later in future. She said it would reduce the amount of confusion she has to encounter in her natural hair journey.

Sometimes, she annoys me, with the way our conversation goes.

"Anna, I am tired of my hair. I'm so much of a Girly girl. I don't know how long I can go on with this natural hair. I don't know what styles to do, how to care for my hair, and so on. I am thinking of relaxing my hair."

"Sade, it is all in the mind. You can do it. Don't succumb. You can still look girly with natural hair. Just educate yourself about things to do." I answer

Another day...

"Anna, I will relax my hair o. People are putting pressure on me. My mum is making my life miserable. I look hideous, bla bla bla."

I respond "Why are you allowing people pressure you? It is your hair. Do what you want, and not what anyone wants. It is your life."

"It is because you don't have a mum like mine. So you won't understand."

"Who told you?" I retort. "Have you met my mum? It is not about your mum, it is about you. My mum will not even tell me what to do with my hair since she knows the kind of daughter she has. Trust me, my mum is hard core, but I am also up to the task."

Please, at this point, I would like to state that Sade is not so young. She is 25, engaged to be married in two months, pays her own bills, and completely independent of her mum.

Yet another day...

"Anna. I am just tired. I was pushed to get a relaxer, and just relax my hair. I will relax my hair o."

At this point, I did not even say anything or give her a pep talk. I felt like Sade just calls me to threaten me about relaxing her hair. I was beginning to think she felt I was gaining something by her being natural, or I had a club I was enlisting natural ladies to join, and making money off them. Was she doing me a favour by wearing her hair naturally? It no more felt like I was just being concerned about her welfare, but had an ulterior motive.

So, I just thought to myself, "Stop threatening me with relaxing your hair. Relax it if you want to. It's your hair, not mine."

That was 2 months before the incident of two weeks ago.

So back to my story, I called her up to give her the good news about the natural hair salon.

She goes "Ooh, that's good. Tell me where it is. I already relaxed my hair, but I have loads of people that need the information."

I was surprised, but did I flip? Did I ask why? Did I show any concern? Did I even bat an eyelid? Oh no!

What did yours truly do? I said "Okay." And I gave her the address.

She told me like it was no big deal, and I answered her like it was no big deal.

Thinking about it, I am sort of relieved. At least, the unwarranted relaxer threats and complaints will stop, and I will be able to tackle more serious world problems.

So people tell me. Am I a bad person?


  1. Ah ah! Why would you even think that you are??? It's her hair nau...let her do as she pleases, you did all you could to encourage her not to relax it, but she was weak willed...and for her to succumb to the pressure means she didn't really want/wasn't passionate enough about being natural to stay nature...so please, your conscience is crystal clear!

  2. i do not think what she dd makes her weak and i do not think you should feel bad bout the decision she made either, people like different things if you truly are her friend you should b able to accept her for who she is without any judgments

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  4. no o. please leave her. its a free world morover judging by the way she was going, she might have relaxed it sooner or later. being natural takes committment and resolve.

  5. btw, its 18 weeks now. any length checks? or fab hair style pictures?

    1. Maureen, if you are waiting to see Anna's face or hair, you might be waiting for a very long time o. As for length checks, who knows, she might update you guys, or not!


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