Monday, 10 March 2014

Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 40

Mehn, I sigh. It is my niece again. I hope I won’t get into trouble with my already not-so-nice sister and her husband because of this naughty girl. For some reason I cannot explain, my mum decided to let my niece stay at home with us after church, even though my sister and her hubby were home, doing nothing.

My niece, being fond of me wanted to follow me about like a tail. I was just thankful that I was not doing anything serious that Sunday. I deep conditioned and washed my hair the day before. I was very tired after church, and even cancelled my outing with Dimeji. I just wanted to lie down, and enter another realm. So imagine my irritation when my mum decided to bring Boma home with us.

I know my niece likes me, but the way she was following me this time around was really unusual. After a while, I gave up on trying to get her to stay with my mum or brothers, who would rather not be burdened, and I just let her stay with me on the bed. Her wails were just like sand gritting on my molars. I lay on my bed, and before I could say Jack Robinson, I was off.

I don’t know how many minutes or hours later, I began to feel very uncomfortable. I felt heat on my neck, and some funny sounds in my ears. I adjusted myself and saw my niece almost on top of me. I adjusted her on the bed, and continued sleeping. I just didn’t have any energy to start playing with a child at that moment.

I don’t know how long I slept after that, but the next thing I heard was my mum shouting. I immediately sprang out of my bed.

I opened my eyes and saw Boma in my mum’s arms. I was so scared and alarmed, I assumed my niece must have fallen and hit her head on the ground. I was like "God, my sister would kill me." I took a second look at my niece and saw that she was not crying. My mum’s forefinger was in her mouth.

My eyes were still heavy when I asked “What happened?”

My mum eyed me, hissed, and said “How could you just fall asleep like that?”

I was confused. "Can’t I sleep in my own room anymore?" I wondered.

My mum saw the look of confusion on my face. “I caught her eating your hair.”

The confusion my mum was trying to get rid of did nothing but increase. “What? My hair?” I asked.

“Ehn ehn?” My mum started. “When you will be putting different kinds of concotions on your hair nko? Today, it is bread, tomorrow jam, mayonnaise, banana, mango, egg. There's no kind of food you haven’t put on that your hair. Even the cream you use, it smells like orange and pineapple. Only God will save us from natural hair craze of yours. Smelling like pancake and juice everywhere you go.”

I was too tired to even respond to my mum’s ranting. She had never been a fan of my hair anyway. All I could say was “She ate my hair?” as I touched my hair and felt Boma’s saliva on the left side.

“Madam Anna the naturalista, you now a danger to children. Stay away from my granddaughter.” My mum said sarcastically, and left with Boma.

I just bounced my upper body on my bed, as I was still tired. No wonder that imp was following me about like a tail. She thought my hair was food. Well, thank God she was gone. Now I can sleep well without the fear of someone eating my hair. Good riddance!

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    1. Hi. Thanks very much for your comment. Even though you are the first to drop your email, I'm afraid we can't send you the card, cos you did not comment ABOUT the post, as directed. We hope to read your comment next time.


  3. hahahahahahahahahahaha OMG,
    How could she eat your hair like that??
    I missed this series *oh my i'm still laughing*
    The Beautiful Eagle's Blog

  4. Loool,so funny.

    1. Hi. You won our recharge card for this post. We tried sending an email to the address you provided, but the message keeps bouncing back. Please, can you let us have another email address?

  5. Ok, where to begin. I'm not even sure what made me laugh more. First, there was the visualisation of the baby eating Anna's hair. Not unusual behaviour for kids (if they don't try to eat something weird I wonder if they're ill) but amusing nevertheless. Then the suggestion that anyone would put bread in their hair. Followed by the suggestion that they did it for the sole purpose of enticing the baby into eating their hair. Of the three characters in this incident, the only rational one is the one putting food in her hair! Which is a bit worrying. But hilarious.

    1. I remember my friend telling me her young cousin, who is a guy, was following her up and down, after she used the former deep conditioning treatment I used to sell in those days. Gosh, it smelt like pancakes, lol.

  6. Hahahahah! Yummy

  7. thank God she didnt decide to roast the hair before eating it

  8. Lol! This is so funny and adorable. I wonder what would've happened if Anna's mom didn't walk in the time she did. Poor Boma will be eating away Anna's hair. Lol! Really funny post.

  9. Lol! This is so funny and adorable. I wonder what would've happened if Anna's mom didn't walk in the time she did. Poor Boma will be eating away Anna's hair. Lol! Really funny post.


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