How To Manage Natural Hair Envy

Hello, everyone!

The dictionary defines envy as a desire a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

Most naturalistas experience natural hair envy at one point of their journey. It's inevitable. It's one of those things that can grow from mild to severe depending on the subject of envy and the state of mind. At various points of my natural hair journey, I have been envious of everybody's hair until I had to put myself in check. But it's so much more than cautioning oneself. It's more about making conscious decisions and following through.
Today, I'm sharing three ways I've been able to curb my natural hair envy. 

1. Keep your hair away.
Every time I start to feel unnecessarily envious of someone's hair, I know it's time to tuck it in for a while. Usually, when I do, those thoughts begin to gradually fizzle out. Before I know it, I'm not thinking about hair anymore because it's completely out of sight. Instead, I begin to revel in my new appearance. BTW, has anyone noticed how extensions changes our appearances from 0 - 100 real quick? Same here.

2. Cut out the source of envy.
Translation: curate your Instagram feed. I'm even not kidding.
It got to a point that I couldn't take it anymore. You see, my hair is 4a which is less popular and everywhere I swiped, it was thick luscious 4c staring back at me. At some point, I began to feel rather uneasy and generally dissatisfied. But I knew where I was coming from. I knew all of the efforts it had taken to appreciate my natural hair especially in a society where it was underrated and looked down on. Heck, I knew what I had to go through with my mother before she finally accepted my hair. No, I wasn't going to allow it crash like a pack of cards. So,I took my Instagram and unfollowed where necessary. No beef. No hard feelings. I just cherish my peace of mind. Fortunately for me, I do not follow that much natural hair accounts so it was a pretty easy job. Ladies, believe me when I say the envy has been reduced to the barest minimum. Well, apart from that Explore tab. Even at that, Instagram took the cue and followed suit. Now, I've taken control of my feed and replaced it with 4a ladies. 4c ladies no shade but there's no point lusting after what I can't have.

3. Set realistic expectations.
Now that I aware of what content to consume and whatnot, I can manage my expectations. I know the kind of tutorials to watch and results to get. I also know the kind of products to use that would work better with my hair type and not just because it's popular. Life's is just a little easier.

This is not to say that there aren't times when I'm oohing and aahing some other person's hair. Of course, they are but they are few and far between. I take some minutes to appreciate it and move along rather than dwelling unnecessarily on it or even beating myself. Again, there's absolutely no point lusting after something that's practically impossible.

Have you ever been envious of someone's hair? 
Have you been able to curtail it?

Love, curls and coils


  1. I used to be envious of people who have had natural hair for the same length of time that I have been natural. But I realized that every one's hair grows differently and there is no need for me to be envious.

  2. I really needed to read this. My hair is so fine that even my afro looks scanty so my twists actually never come out with that naturally full look. Im still I'm the process curbing envy cos I love full hair.

  3. Wow. Insightful. This is the first time I'm hearing 4a envying 4c. It's usually the other way round most times.


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