Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 163

Last week, I was reminiscing and thinking about several areas of my life. I questioned whether I was in God’s will for my life in those areas.

I began to think about my unmarried status, and when this phase would be over. I even began to question myself about if I am doing the right thing by planning a future with Dimeji. Unfortunately, I began to wonder if Dimeji is God’s will for me, or if there’s another man out there. I began to focus on the few things he was imperfect it.

I focused on these things so much that they became magnified in my eyes, such that Dimeji began to annoy me, and I began to see those imperfections more and more, in every word he spoke, and every action he took. The more I did this, the more I became scared that I was heading for doom.

I then called his pretty brother to report all his sins. I’m glad I did because he asked me some simple questions.

“Anna, do you think Dimeji loves you?”

I answered yes.

“Do you love Dimeji?”

“Yes,” I answered again.

Source

“Okay then.” He continued. “All these complaints you have listed about Dimeji, you know it’s really just one thing. But if you list all the things you like about Dimeji, and all the things you don’t like about him, which list would have the most items?”

At this point, I was ashamed to answer but I did, with hesitation. “Well, the things I like about him are more.”

“So there you have your answer. I think you have focused too much on one little thing, and ignored the bigger picture, and it is giving you problems. I’m not saying this because Dimeji is my brother, but no single person has it all.”

We talked about other things here and there, and ended the call.

That night, I decided to set my mind right by writing down ten things I love about Dimeji.

He’s kind-hearted
He loves me for who I am, and not trying to change of modify me into another version
He’s interested in my progress, and wants to see me fulfil purpose
He’s calm and gentle, even in the midst of chaos
He’s always sad when I’m sad, lol. He’s interested in my happiness
He’s handsome, even though he’s balding little by little
He is hard-working
He’s focused and goal-oriented
He’s a good leader, and I have no problem with handing over myself and my kids to his authority
He loves my natural hair, and doesn’t mind learning all the natural hair lingo, just so we can bond on that topic