Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 45

Last week Tuesday, I got home from work, looking really sad, after reading a heart-breaking news on the internet. I was so down that the whole family was scared, but I refused to tell them the cause of my worry, since I knew they would not understand why I should be so grieved.

About 30 minutes later, Dimeji called me, but my countenance was still down. He also tried to probe further, but I was not letting anything out. I believed he called one of my brothers, who must have intimated him about my strange mood.

Before I knew it, he was in my house, and seated by my side. I was so shocked to see him with me, especially since it was a working day for us all, which led me to suspect foul play by one of my brothers, but I was too sad to give two cents.

“Anna, what’s up? Are you alright.” He had this scared look on his face.

“I’m fine dear.” I said, not even, in the least, pretending to look fine, as I claimed.

“Anna I’m serious. I’m not supposed to be here today, so stop play games. Tell me what’s wrong.” He pressed on.

“I said I’m okay. I’m serious too.” I answered stubbornly.

“Yeah right, you are okay, and you got your whole family, including me, scared to the tooth.”
“You won’t understand, no one would understand.”

“Are you serious?” He started, his voice laden with disbelief. “After all we have been through together, I won’t understand something that could be so serious to make you act this way?”

“Trust me, Dimeji. This one is different, you won’t understand this it. I think you should just leave me. I’ll snap out of it by tomorrow, and everything would return to normal. You shouldn’t have even stressed yourself to come in the first place.”

“Hmm. I am not going anywhere till you tell me, and you know I won’t leave, so you better spill.” He said firmly, but gently. I sensed he was beginning to lose his patience, and even get frustrated.

“You won’t understand.” I insisted, weakly this time.

“Try me. Anna, just try me.”

Finally succumbing to the pressure, and taking pity on him for making the journey to my house, I talked.

“She’s dead,” was all I said.

“Dead? Who died?”

At this point, I did not know what to say. I didn’t want my boyfriend to think he’s in a relationship with a nut head. “My mentor. My role model.”

“Which mentor? Is it Mrs Adebesin that you were stalking for months before you got her to mentor you? She’s dead?”

“Noooo! My youtube role model.” I finally said, feeling like a fool.

“Youtube role model? You have a role model on youtube? What does that even mean?”

I did not answer him, so he continued to drill me with stares. After some seconds, it dawned on him, as the look in his eyes began to change.

“Annaaaaaa… How can you? You made everyone scared because of someone you watch on youtube. Madam, I think you overdid it this time, with all the melodrama!”

I knew it was time for some damage control. “You don’t get. LongHairDontCare2011 is the reason I went natural in the first place. She was the one who made me understand I can grow my hair long, the one who inspired me. Her hair was reaching down to her butt. I literally watched all her videos before taking the plunge, and now, she’s gone… just like that.”

“I don’t get, but you don’t know her personally. She’s not your friend, and you have never corresponded with her one on one.”

“You see, I said you won’t understand. I told you so.”

With this statement, he shut up, and did not say anything for a long time. I was also quiet too, but I felt like a fool later. I’m sure Dimeji must have wondered if I wasn’t taking this natural hair thing too far.

After about 20 minutes, he said “Anna, sorry for your loss. I need to start going now.”

“Okay,” was all I said.

“One more thing. Don’t even mention the reason for your sad countenance to anyone in your family. If I am finding it hard to understand, there’s no miracle in the world that would make them understand.”

Dedicated to LongHairDontCare2011. May her soul Rest In Peace