Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 40

Mehn, I sigh. It is my niece again. I hope I won’t get into trouble with my already not-so-nice sister and her husband because of this naughty girl. For some reason I cannot explain, my mum decided to let my niece stay at home with us after church, even though my sister and her hubby were home, doing nothing.

My niece, being fond of me wanted to follow me about like a tail. I was just thankful that I was not doing anything serious that Sunday. I deep conditioned and washed my hair the day before. I was very tired after church, and even cancelled my outing with Dimeji. I just wanted to lie down, and enter another realm. So imagine my irritation when my mum decided to bring Boma home with us.

I know my niece likes me, but the way she was following me this time around was really unusual. After a while, I gave up on trying to get her to stay with my mum or brothers, who would rather not be burdened, and I just let her stay with me on the bed. Her wails were just like sand gritting on my molars. I lay on my bed, and before I could say Jack Robinson, I was off.

I don’t know how many minutes or hours later, I began to feel very uncomfortable. I felt heat on my neck, and some funny sounds in my ears. I adjusted myself and saw my niece almost on top of me. I adjusted her on the bed, and continued sleeping. I just didn’t have any energy to start playing with a child at that moment.

I don’t know how long I slept after that, but the next thing I heard was my mum shouting. I immediately sprang out of my bed.

I opened my eyes and saw Boma in my mum’s arms. I was so scared and alarmed, I assumed my niece must have fallen and hit her head on the ground. I was like "God, my sister would kill me." I took a second look at my niece and saw that she was not crying. My mum’s forefinger was in her mouth.

My eyes were still heavy when I asked “What happened?”

My mum eyed me, hissed, and said “How could you just fall asleep like that?”

I was confused. "Can’t I sleep in my own room anymore?" I wondered.

My mum saw the look of confusion on my face. “I caught her eating your hair.”

The confusion my mum was trying to get rid of did nothing but increase. “What? My hair?” I asked.

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“Ehn ehn?” My mum started. “When you will be putting different kinds of concotions on your hair nko? Today, it is bread, tomorrow jam, mayonnaise, banana, mango, egg. There's no kind of food you haven’t put on that your hair. Even the cream you use, it smells like orange and pineapple. Only God will save us from natural hair craze of yours. Smelling like pancake and juice everywhere you go.”

I was too tired to even respond to my mum’s ranting. She had never been a fan of my hair anyway. All I could say was “She ate my hair?” as I touched my hair and felt Boma’s saliva on the left side.

“Madam Anna the naturalista, you now a danger to children. Stay away from my granddaughter.” My mum said sarcastically, and left with Boma.

I just bounced my upper body on my bed, as I was still tired. No wonder that imp was following me about like a tail. She thought my hair was food. Well, thank God she was gone. Now I can sleep well without the fear of someone eating my hair. Good riddance!

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